“I need just a little more silence/I need just a little more time” – Sarah McLachlan.

This has been a theme in the last few years of my life. I can’t get away from it; it crops up all over the place in my journals. I can hear it my head. Another theme ties in directly: Balance. How do I balance all the pieces in my life?

How do I balance work and play? How do I get enough sleep into my day? Where do my creative pursuits fit in with the time I need to just relax? What about being social versus needing alone time? And when will I ever fit in going to the gym let alone actually doing the dishes for once?

The hardest thing to realize is that doing what I want requires so much discipline. If I really want my life balanced properly, I have to be strict with my time. I hate having my time wasted and yet easily waste time myself. Then frustration builds, I feel lazy and defeated and I sigh over the fact that another day/week/month/year has passed since I’ve touched my novel or put any effort into writing.

Instead in the time allotted to writing, I’ve managed to read five different interesting articles online, played a few games of spider solitaire or Carcassonne, looked at real estate on Redfin and about 100 photos on Facebook. Writing suddenly becomes another chore which I leave undone, when it should be something I can’t wait to spend time doing. But my brain gets scared, starts making excuses, and so I become an expert on the current housing market and continue to collect interesting stories to share in conversations.